Success, and Why I’m Obsessed With It

Success.

I haven’t been very much of a prolific blogger lately (yikes). I had been away at the beach in the no man’s land of no internet. Being cut off from the world made me a prolific writer. It also made me incredibly lonely with my thoughts when events were going on.

Lately, I have been so obsessed with measuring success and progress. I thought I left that world behind when I finished college applications, but I suppose not!

Okay, to get the full picture, these are my high school hobbies:
-Writing -Lacrosse -Tennis -Running
-Piano
-Swimming -Volunteering -Costume-making

Not really in that order.

I love doing everything. I am addicted to learning about new hobbies.

The problem is, I love being successful at everything. I push myself to my limits and beyond. This can be amazingly helpful (I received a Most Improved medal for my first year on the lacrosse team!), but it can also be frustrating, and utterly exhausting. I thought I’d brought the pressure down to a manageable level, but it’s started to creep into my exercise.

In the past two days, I’ve spent at least two hours a day exercising. I’m beginning to break in my hiking boots (on the treadmill, unfortunately, because I don’t live near trails).

I have been diligent about recording every minute I’ve been working out.

Diligence is good, right?

Well, the pressure grew to the point where I would get really frustrated if I swam for 18 minutes instead of 20, or something like that. I started measuring everything and stacking things up against how they would prepare me for my hiking trip (upper body strength, etc.) or my half-marathon.

I also did not have a very relaxing vacation, due to a number of reasons, but tensions were high as I returned home. I sort of collapsed with the exhaustion and then I was swept up again in college preparations. The two issues piled up against each other and it was causing me a lot of stress.

Sometimes I guess I just have to take life as it comes.

I swam today. No stopwatch. No goggles. Just me and even breathing.

It was kind of meditative…something I’ve been experimenting with after dinner lately. My family meditates for a few minutes after eating. We all gather on the living room floor. I don’t think it’s really meditating–my dad counts; my mom flits through the day; I stretch. It’s a start.

I know I have plenty of time to get in shape for the Disney Princess Half-Marathon (which I am now officially registered for! YAY!). There’s no turning back after paying that entry fee, haha!

And the hiking trip…I’ll be okay. Pressure, get out of my exercise routine!!

Have you tried meditating? What about yoga? If you don’t–how do you wind down your day?

Have you run without a watch lately? Or the equivalent, if you don’t run?