The Universe Gives Answers, Maybe

I’ve been having a rough time lately.  This is through no external problems (I love my family and friends), I’ve just been going through a weird headspace for about two weeks now, and lately it’s especially hard to deal with. 

I swam laps to work off the frustration with myself, but it wasn’t helping.  I swam hard and fast, but I still felt like crying (okay, I did cry) underwater.  I shouted under the water, I floated and tried to relax, I blew bubbles; nothing seemed to help. 

Now, I love water.  Being in the water always, always helps me, even better than a run, sometimes.

When I couldn’t take being so frustrated any more (I had a feeling somewhere between feeling like I was going to implode and like I was going to disappear…simultaneously), I swam to the side.  I clung to the brick wall and said, “God, please.”

Now, I’m not religious.  I’m not sure I believe in a specific god, or if I believe in the universe, or something, but sometimes, when I’m lost, I just need to say something, to just blurt out a cry for help.  And that was what came out.

I swam half of another lap and stopped at the edge, contemplating getting out.

Then I saw a frog floating in the water.

It was brown; its eyes were closed.

I screamed.  My dad was nearby:

“What?”

“Aaagh!  Frog!  A frog!  I think it’s dead!”

The frog opened its eyes and started swimming.

I scrambled the hell out of the pool.

Don’t worry, we fished it out with a net, and it was fine.  It hopped away.

It was small, and it looked like a young frog (its legs looked newly formed), but to be honest, I don’t know much about frogs, so I couldn’t say for sure.

My dad had it trapped under the net, and I said, “What are you doing?  Just let it go.”

Just let it go.

I don’t know if this is just some sort of metaphor for my day, or what, but the whole thing shocked me into laughter and now I feel like I might not implode or disappear.

That’s always a good thing.

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